Epic win

(The only sane and rational response to this, inspired and with full and respectful homage to the very wonderful Ike Piggott)

TORONTO, CANADA (PRNOOB) December 2, 2008 -- What's better than soaring to the top of a popular social networking site? How about skyrocketing to dominion over the entire social media universe? That's the envious position The Original Flackster, Michael O'Connor Clarke, found himself in this month when he entered the Twitter elite. Proving just how powerful his Internet marketing promotional strategies are, MOCC not only became a top Toronto Twitterer, but his recently expanded coverage now shows him outranking every known organism in the entire universe. Internet marketers who would like to follow The Original Flackster's tweets and improve their own promotional efforts can do so online at http://twitter.com/michaelocc.

According to Nielson Online, Twitter is the fastest growing social networking site, achieving a 343% growth rate between September 2007 and September 2008. For obvious reasons, landing in the top tier of this social media giant could boost an Internet marketer's career, but accomplishing it for the whole of the known universe is an almost guaranteed catapult into the, well, the universe (*cough*). And that's exactly what Michael O'Connor Clarke has just done. Of course, achieving the #1 spot through simple manipulation of a bogus and meaningless ranking system is just further evidence of the creative genius at work here.

As of press time, O'Connor Clarke sits firmly in the number one slot among all known Twitterers in the universe. That position places him handily ahead of the competition, including: Matt (who?) Bacak, and even - yes - Barack Obama. Consistently ranking in his region's top ten, O'Connor Clarke also ranks first out of an estimated 504,710 Twitterers-who-have-never-heard-of-Matt-Bacak worldwide.

Wikipedia describes Twitter as a "social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send and read other users' updates (a.k.a. "tweets"), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length. The service touts itself as a way to communicate and stay connected with others through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? By one measure, Twitter had well over five million visitors in September 2008. That figure represents a fivefold increase in just one month and equates to three out of every 1,000 Internet users.

"Anyone can call their promotional abilities 'powerful' but I actually prove that mine are," says O'Connor Clarke of his most recent accomplishment. "I consistently rank in the top 500 Twitterers on the Net, and have the number one Google search rank for 'I hate Vista' and 'Summer Fruit Pizza'. If you were an Internet marketer who wanted to improve your promotional game, who would you trust? Someone who issues ridiculous self-promotional news releases, or someone who looks like he perhaps ought to lay off the cake?"

For more information on O'Connor Clarke's ascent to the Twitter top, visit him online at http://michaelocc.com