CIA Kids
The CIA has a website devoted to information for kids. Sample:
What is Intelligence?
"This question is not easy to answer and, depending on who you ask, you may get different answers. But most people agree that intelligence is information needed by our nation's leaders, also known as policy makers, to keep our country safe.
"Policy makers, like the President, do not have time to read all the other countries' newspapers . . . there are just too many of them. Also, there is information that other countries will not share with the United States, called secrets. All this information is very important to our nation's leaders.
"The intelligence puzzle begins when the President, National Security Council or Cabinet members have questions that need answering. Just as there are different types and sizes of puzzles, there are different categories of intelligence...
"Once a question is asked and we determine what type of "puzzle" it is, we then set out to solve it for the policy maker. The answers to these questions are intelligence."
So I'm thinking - maybe I should set up a website full of CIA counter-intelligence, also aimed at kids, to balance the disturbing effect of the bland, smiley, nefarious weaselage on this site.
For example, their version:
"Our Mission
"When people think of the CIA, they think of people lurking around in trenchcoats, sending messages in code, and using cool tools to do their job."
My version:
Our Mission
When right-thinking people think of the CIA, they think of the terrifying stony insolence of a government-funded agency that blithely trades big nasty guns for favours with known terrorists and dictatorships the world over. That Felix Leiter was a pussy.
Their version:
"We give accurate and timely intelligence (or information) on foreign threats to our security."
My version:
We will run guns, trade drugs, stir up revolt, assassinate heads of state, lie, cheat, steal, and kill to achieve our President's mandate. On really good days - we get to do all of these at the same time.
Their version:
"Fly high on intelligence, NOT drugs..."
My version:
Er...well actually, that's one's pretty funny without any added snarkiness from me. Carry on...
The CIA has a website devoted to information for kids. Sample:
What is Intelligence?
"This question is not easy to answer and, depending on who you ask, you may get different answers. But most people agree that intelligence is information needed by our nation's leaders, also known as policy makers, to keep our country safe.
"Policy makers, like the President, do not have time to read all the other countries' newspapers . . . there are just too many of them. Also, there is information that other countries will not share with the United States, called secrets. All this information is very important to our nation's leaders.
"The intelligence puzzle begins when the President, National Security Council or Cabinet members have questions that need answering. Just as there are different types and sizes of puzzles, there are different categories of intelligence...
"Once a question is asked and we determine what type of "puzzle" it is, we then set out to solve it for the policy maker. The answers to these questions are intelligence."
So I'm thinking - maybe I should set up a website full of CIA counter-intelligence, also aimed at kids, to balance the disturbing effect of the bland, smiley, nefarious weaselage on this site.
For example, their version:
"Our Mission
"When people think of the CIA, they think of people lurking around in trenchcoats, sending messages in code, and using cool tools to do their job."
My version:
Our Mission
When right-thinking people think of the CIA, they think of the terrifying stony insolence of a government-funded agency that blithely trades big nasty guns for favours with known terrorists and dictatorships the world over. That Felix Leiter was a pussy.
Their version:
"We give accurate and timely intelligence (or information) on foreign threats to our security."
My version:
We will run guns, trade drugs, stir up revolt, assassinate heads of state, lie, cheat, steal, and kill to achieve our President's mandate. On really good days - we get to do all of these at the same time.
Their version:
"Fly high on intelligence, NOT drugs..."
My version:
Er...well actually, that's one's pretty funny without any added snarkiness from me. Carry on...
