WebTorch - bang or whimper?
Turner Labs' latest remarkable innovation seems a sure fire winner. Or is it?
Check out the original WebTorch announcement from Turner Labs, here.
This worrying piece on the AP wire paints a less positive picture:
MIDDLE MANAGERS CLAMP DOWN ON WEBTORCH ABUSE
NEW YORK (AP) -- The runaway success of the "WebTorch" product has not been warmly received in all corners of corporate life. Several large American corporations have recently introduced policies to restrict use of the product; others have already moved to ban it outright.
Turner Labs' innovative WebTorch system taps into the latent photonic capacity in personal computing devices to provide high output illumination for a variety of typically dark environments.
Praised by many industry analysts and corporate CIOs as a significant advance in web based personal lighting, the WebTorch has already been adopted as a standard productivity aid in large corporations world wide, only days after its introduction.
It is unfortunate that one of the less obvious features of the product has quickly become one of its most popular; and one which may ultimately cast a gloom over Turner Labs’ plans for a public offering later this year.
Since the introduction of the WebTorch, office staff in corporations across the country quickly caught on to the fact that the product could easily be converted into a personal mirror. This has led to widespread evidence of users secretly indulging in personal grooming on company time in the privacy of their cubicles.
The well-documented propensity for vain and self-obsessed cubicle-dwellers to spend hours preening and grooming in company washrooms has led to a steady lowering of standards in commercial washroom cleanliness.
A recent report from the American Association of Janitorial Engineers indicated that U.S. corporations spent 32.7 per cent less on washroom cleaning and maintenance in 2001 compared to the previous year.
“If we do our jobs too well, people spend less time at their desks,” commented Carl Spackler, Association president. “No CEO really wants an Ally McBeal-style washroom. Cold, grey and smelly is the proven recipe for higher productivity,” he added.
The WebTorch relies on “top secret patented technology” to re-route the power from most standard computing devices, resulting in ultra high intensity lighting for low-illumination situations.
However, an undocumented feature of the product allows the screen output to be adjusted to a dangerously low level (referred to by savvy users as the ‘off’ setting). This renders the screen of the subject device almost completely black – allowing it to function as a serviceable vanity mirror for fiddling with one’s hairstyle or makeup.
“It’s really embarrassing to get caught squeezing blackheads in the company washroom,” commented one anonymous user. “Flipping my WebTorch to off, I can have a good long zit hunt, but anyone walking by would just think I’m staring intently at something on my PC.”
Turner Labs spokespeople were unavailable for comment.
Turner Labs' latest remarkable innovation seems a sure fire winner. Or is it?
Check out the original WebTorch announcement from Turner Labs, here.
This worrying piece on the AP wire paints a less positive picture:
MIDDLE MANAGERS CLAMP DOWN ON WEBTORCH ABUSE
NEW YORK (AP) -- The runaway success of the "WebTorch" product has not been warmly received in all corners of corporate life. Several large American corporations have recently introduced policies to restrict use of the product; others have already moved to ban it outright.
Turner Labs' innovative WebTorch system taps into the latent photonic capacity in personal computing devices to provide high output illumination for a variety of typically dark environments.
Praised by many industry analysts and corporate CIOs as a significant advance in web based personal lighting, the WebTorch has already been adopted as a standard productivity aid in large corporations world wide, only days after its introduction.
It is unfortunate that one of the less obvious features of the product has quickly become one of its most popular; and one which may ultimately cast a gloom over Turner Labs’ plans for a public offering later this year.
Since the introduction of the WebTorch, office staff in corporations across the country quickly caught on to the fact that the product could easily be converted into a personal mirror. This has led to widespread evidence of users secretly indulging in personal grooming on company time in the privacy of their cubicles.
The well-documented propensity for vain and self-obsessed cubicle-dwellers to spend hours preening and grooming in company washrooms has led to a steady lowering of standards in commercial washroom cleanliness.
A recent report from the American Association of Janitorial Engineers indicated that U.S. corporations spent 32.7 per cent less on washroom cleaning and maintenance in 2001 compared to the previous year.
“If we do our jobs too well, people spend less time at their desks,” commented Carl Spackler, Association president. “No CEO really wants an Ally McBeal-style washroom. Cold, grey and smelly is the proven recipe for higher productivity,” he added.
The WebTorch relies on “top secret patented technology” to re-route the power from most standard computing devices, resulting in ultra high intensity lighting for low-illumination situations.
However, an undocumented feature of the product allows the screen output to be adjusted to a dangerously low level (referred to by savvy users as the ‘off’ setting). This renders the screen of the subject device almost completely black – allowing it to function as a serviceable vanity mirror for fiddling with one’s hairstyle or makeup.
“It’s really embarrassing to get caught squeezing blackheads in the company washroom,” commented one anonymous user. “Flipping my WebTorch to off, I can have a good long zit hunt, but anyone walking by would just think I’m staring intently at something on my PC.”
Turner Labs spokespeople were unavailable for comment.
