Something scarily bizarre just happened to my machine....
Everything went tits up in the nastiest possible way about 10 mins ago – full BSOD and I hadn’t even touched the keyboard in ten minutes, honest.
I was just watching some terrific Quicktime movies on Apple.com – then bloooiee!
After I rebooted, scandisk did it's usual job of salvaging any of the useful content that was scattered to the 4 corners of my hard drive and screwing it up even further.
One data shred survived relatively intact, however. It appears to be some kind of code fragment, saved by scandisk as FILE0098.CHK.
What do you make of this:
/* Copyright Microsoft Inc., Redmond, USA.
*/
#include "win311.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "implants.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main(){
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation) {
make_500_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_networked_UNIX(); search_and_destroy_networked_LINUX();
install_XP_on_all_machines_found(); disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer(); disable_Corel_Products(); hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
display_buymoreXboxshit_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed) {
display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1_fool_as_XP(); do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu()) {
set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action,
jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); set_intelli_mouse(NO_INTELLI);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE, 0666);
while(SATAN) {
sleep(5); get_user_input(); sleep(5); act_on_user_input(); sleep(15)
illegal_operation_performed();
}
create_general_protection_fault();
printf("Smash head on Keyboard\n");
make_user_reboot_machine();
}
Yeah, I know it's a really old gag - but I found it gathering dust in the corner of a disused email account and thought it deserved a little fresh air...
Everything went tits up in the nastiest possible way about 10 mins ago – full BSOD and I hadn’t even touched the keyboard in ten minutes, honest.
I was just watching some terrific Quicktime movies on Apple.com – then bloooiee!
After I rebooted, scandisk did it's usual job of salvaging any of the useful content that was scattered to the 4 corners of my hard drive and screwing it up even further.
One data shred survived relatively intact, however. It appears to be some kind of code fragment, saved by scandisk as FILE0098.CHK.
What do you make of this:
/* Copyright Microsoft Inc., Redmond, USA.
*/
#include "win311.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "implants.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main(){
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation) {
make_500_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_networked_UNIX(); search_and_destroy_networked_LINUX();
install_XP_on_all_machines_found(); disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer(); disable_Corel_Products(); hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
display_buymoreXboxshit_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed) {
display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1_fool_as_XP(); do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu()) {
set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action,
jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); set_intelli_mouse(NO_INTELLI);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE, 0666);
while(SATAN) {
sleep(5); get_user_input(); sleep(5); act_on_user_input(); sleep(15)
illegal_operation_performed();
}
create_general_protection_fault();
printf("Smash head on Keyboard\n");
make_user_reboot_machine();
}
Yeah, I know it's a really old gag - but I found it gathering dust in the corner of a disused email account and thought it deserved a little fresh air...
